For as long as I can remember, life has been reminding me to find balance. This life-long task has come at varying degrees of ease and struggle, with circumstance, personal practices and grace always playing the leading roles.
This past month of January as we entered a new calendar year, offered a spectrum of life experiences. We said goodbye to our Aunt Ann, one of our dearest and strongest matriarchs. The aunt who still at 88 years young, called you on your birthday and thought nothing of inviting a household of guests over to enjoy her legendary sauce. The ache of saying goodbye was softened by the gift of sharing final words, hugs and kisses in the peaceful hours before her passing. Death and life are never far apart, as our family welcomed sweet Mia, the first of our ‘next generation!’ The joy and anticipation offered a whole different set of emotions to explore; some unexpected, most a blessed gift of hope and possibilities.
This sacred space, between the highs and lows, where life is generally lived… is no easy task for most of us to maintain. Circumstances seem to convince us more often than I care to admit, to follow the ups… waiting eagerly for the next experience which we convince ourselves will fill (and keep) us wth joy. With the same vengeance, we ‘fight’ to avoid the downs… believing that avoidance will somehow protect us from the hard emotions that bombard the heart in difficult times.
Finding equanimity is in fact a life goal, even after we ‘find it!’ Every turn offers another ‘opportunity’ to choose whether we go down a rabbit hole or set ourselves up for disappointment … looking at the mountain peak instead of the climb.
Most often I am discovering that the emotions that accompany me through the lows and highs are in direct balance to what I carry between these life experiences. If I put too many rocks of adversity into my traveling pack, I can expect the mountain to be too hard to climb. And if I over-sweeten my expectations for the day to day encounters, I should ‘plan’ on crashing as well.
I am striving to walk the middle of the road, grateful for life’s stumbles that keep me centered and the shooting stars that keep me looking outward.
